Society is prone to judge women (and men, too) who are unable to leave abusive situations. And because we’ve grown up immersed in society’s opinions, we tend to condemn ourselves if we get stuck in destructive patterns.

We can better accept what’s happening when we understand masculine and feminine energies. Masculine energy is directional, purposeful. Feminine energy, on the other hand, is cyclical – it opens and closes.

David Deida explains this clearly in his book, Intimate Communion. He says, “If the Feminine couples with an abusive partner, she often has difficulty directing Herself out and away, but instead opens and suffers, closes down and then opens again. Without being balanced by the Masculine force of guidance and directionality, the extreme Feminine force cycles through good times and bad, hoping it will work out, alternately loving and suffering, being hurt and then giving it one more chance.”

Feminine energy also works against us when we’re trying to break a habit that doesn’t serve us. We may be open and happy, or closed and miserable, but we have trouble choosing a new direction and following through, for this needs masculine energy.

For true health, we need balance and wholeness in our lives. Becoming aware that our feminine energy is dominant, we can release judgment of ourselves and focus instead on cultivating our masculine side.