“The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.”

-- Julie Cameron

Years ago, I belonged to a small circle of women. We began meeting to learn weaving together, but really, weaving was just an excuse to enjoy each other’s company. Our evenings were rich with sharing, intimacy and laughter.

As our lives became busier, we decided we would meet in restaurants rather than in our homes. What a perfect solution! No one would have to play hostess any longer -- no worry about planning and preparing treats and ensuring the house was clean and presentable.

An interesting thing happened, though. After a short time of this ideal approach, we stopped meeting. We lost our interest, our commitment to the monthly gatherings. I’ve just realized why all these years later: Our perfect solution robbed us of the depth of our connection.

In the restaurant, we couldn’t help but be distracted – by the energy and bustle of the place, by the interruptions of servers, by others at nearby tables. And even within our own group, the long tables gave rise to multiple conversations. I lost my depth of focus on the woman I was talking with because part of me was listening to the other conversation(s) happening at the table.

Distraction produced superficial. And superficial lacks quality. The group as a whole lost its depth of connection, and with that, its intimacy and meaning. We lost the soul of our group. Though those women counted among my dearest friends, we ended up going our separate ways. Quality requires attention.

~ Patrice

“The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention to one another’s existence.”

-- Sue Atchley Ebaugh