“‘Making nice’ is [a] regular shadow behavior in women’s circles. Women’s circles, in my experience, tend to confuse niceness with love. Love is muscular and can encompass all kinds of behavior, including conflict. Niceness has more to do with playing safe and pleasing others—something women have learned over many generations to be very good at, and which they use to collude with one another to keep the atmosphere smooth and to hide differences which might cause discomfort.”

-- Glennifer Gillespie

Whenever I read Mair’s ‘Crone Story,’ (link below), my first response is always one of pain. For without question, I am now and always have been a very nice person. But then I connect with the purpose of the piece. It’s not to judge me as bad because I am so nice (that’s a twist, isn’t it?). Rather, it brings awareness to a pattern that has denied me full expression of who I am. A pattern that makes me controlling. A pattern that has limited my ability to savour the richness of life because I am prone to avoid anything uncomfortable.

I have no doubt that the authentic me is good and caring, and I honour this in myself. It’s also time to get to know the side of me that has been silenced by my need to be nice. Come out, come out, wherever you are!

~ Patrice