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MORE ON CONDOLENCES
“Who originated that most
exquisite of inquisitions, the condolence system?”
-- Elizabeth Stuart
Phelps
Too many
people are quick to say, “I know how you feel” when they really
have no earthly idea what a person is going through. I have
found that saying the words of how I feel, and better yet,
writing them down so they are there in black and white and may
be re-visited many times until I am comfortable with them, helps
me deal with any kind of grief, pain, or loss.
~ Lynda
Schnekenburger
“But [when you speak the
truth of your pain], even to the best of friends, they try and
shush you, a partial lullaby to soothe that which cannot be
soothed. They tell you about the advances in medicine, and that
any one of us could be hit by a bus, and that we are all living
on borrowed time, or they ask you if you’ve heard about Grace
and Tony and their little boy who has leukemia. These are
contexts. My sane brain says that what they are telling me is
true, but my sad and heavy heart wants them to see that we have
been hit by a bus, and we cannot get over it. Part of us wakes
up every day overwhelmed by what we know, even as part of us
gets on with the living of the day.”
-- Deborah Schnitzer
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