This is the day I am going to do it.

Memories and all the wrong questions have begun to seem less important since January 19th of this year. Yes your picture still watches. A candle still burns casting shadows on your urn. I have been watching old movies instead of listening to New Age music. Baby steps to healing.

So, why not get myself dressed? Go out of the door and attend this month’s grief counseling with a smile for a change. This is the day I will not cry.

I did fine for about a half an hour. Then I thought, "How could you George? You did this to yourself. Here I sit in counseling because of it!"

"My birthday is coming, your birthday is 2 days later. How do you expect mE to do this? All because you made us watch while you crawled into a bottle. Staying there like the worm in a Tequila bottle."

So man, this has turned out to be the day when I am finally telling you how I feel. How I have let myself feel because I lost you and could not save you. My own flesh and blood. I love you, but you really messed up big time this time.

This is the day I am going to do it for mE by moving ahead. Maybe with a tear, maybe not. Our birthdays will come if I stay or hide. It will be easier to stay. Facing them together as we have faced the days this year without you.

I am alive, I will survive.......

~ mE, George's mom xoxox (Barbara Burtchett)

Read more of Barbara’s story.