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BRINGING THE TROPHY HOME
"There is nothing noble in being superior
to some other person. The true nobility is in being superior to
your previous self."
-- Indian Proverb
Hi Patrice,
'Word of heart' works best as a vehicle
for sharing empowering stories from members of this online
community. Today, I'm happy to share Sue Hulen's reflections
on the path she's created for herself and the rewards this
is bringing.
~ Patrice
Competing Against Myself
When I was a young girl I would compete
with my older sister, and at times my other siblings, for
the attention of my parents and grandfather. As I got a little
older, in high school, I would compete with the other girls
for the usual teenage "things" like cheerleading, who could
look the best, boys, and friends.
As an adult I competed at work, but
not for the same reasons as some of the other women. I also
competed to be the best wife and mother and even wanted to
be the best at cooking. At one point, in my marriage, I actually
competed with the "other woman" in my husband's (now my ex-husband)
life. When he cheated the second time I chose not to compete.
I realized that this type of competition is totally unhealthy.
What would be the purpose? We were very different, she and
I, and if we were exactly alike one of us would not be necessary.
I surrendered to myself.
My self-esteem was at its lowest point
by then and I didn't have the energy to fight for him. Once
I decided not to compete with the second mistress, I began
to analyze why he would do this to me, not once, but twice.
After realizing that it had nothing to do with me, I began
feeling a bit better about myself. Imagine that! Me... feeling
better about myself. I couldn't believe it. We're no longer
together and that's much healthier than when I was involved
in unhealthy competitions with women I didn't even know. What
must I have been thinking?
As an artist I compete all the time
with other artists, but in a healthy way. The artists in my
circle encourage each other and we compete for how we can
grow as artists and become better at what we do.
Once I realized I had self-worth issues,
I began searching for ways to encourage myself and to rid
myself of all toxic people who would sabotage my well-being.
It's a daily process and a lot of hard work, but I'm such a
different person now than then. Ridding myself of all the
negative self-talk and finding and respecting my authentic
self has enriched my life as well as my spirit. It's a sort
of cleansing.
It's been a true journey getting through
that dark, negative tunnel to the light at the other end.
Maybe my ex-husband had given me a gift: A gift of "self"
that I would not have had if I'd have stayed in that abusive
marriage. I've given myself the gift of self-acceptance and
self-love and respect. Priceless!
Many friends along the way, and they
know who they are, have kept me on my journey of self and
have been so encouraging. I'm so thankful for them. I can
now rest my head on my pillow at night knowing that I am
worthy and beautiful and loved.....just because I'm me.
~ Sue Hulen
"Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line."
-- Lucille Ball
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