Women's Empowerment Stories ...

He wants you to need him. How can that be healthy?

~ Rachael Jayne Groover

A masculine man loves to become aware of a need and fill it. That's why they love to fix things, make things "better" for you when you are upset, and put a lot of focus on their work.

Many men only put attention on what is directly and specifically needed, which is why many bright, confident, self-sufficient women have trouble attracting a great man - or if they have one, keeping the fire of passion burning a long time. They give off the energy that they do not need a man, and because of this they are caught in an unfortunate catch-22 situation. The culture of the last 50 years has taught women to set up their lives so they do not need to depend on someone else, BUT the essence of the masculine is drawn to women who need them.

It is important for women in intimate relationships to create needs so that the masculine essence can come and fill it for you. After all, it gets very tiring doing everything for yourself all the time. What I am describing is not the damsel in distress, or a woman that cannot fend for herself. Instead, I am inviting you to be a powerful woman who chooses to let others be there for her. When you create a need, it doesn’t mean that you can’t fill it yourself, it just means that you give the honors to someone else - and for most men it really is an honor.

Here are some examples of small ways to create openings for men to step in, but watch your level of attachment to how he responds. These things are not intended to manipulate men. Just stay curious as to whether he wants to "fill the need."

• Give him a chance to open doors for you, and don't make a big deal of it whether he does or not.
• Let him carry your bags, again, not making a big deal of it.
• Let him find something to do for the evening, after telling him you want to do something fun together.
• If you feel emotional, share that, let him hold you, or just listen to you. Feel free to ask nicely for exactly what you want. Always remember that the difference between asking and demanding is that asking has no expectation that the other person must meet the request.

Creating a need to be filled is very different from being "needy." If you are saying to yourself "I need a man to feel whole and complete," that is too big of a need for a man to fill. He will be repelled by that, instinctively knowing that it’s impossible to fill a woman’s needing to be loved. Start by creating smaller needs and keep doing whatever you can do to grow your own self-worth and self-love.

Enjoy playing with this concept and remember the masculine has many gifts to offer you -- be open to receiving them.

~ Rachael Jayne Groover

Learn more about Rachael Jayne’s work at http://theyinproject.com.