Women's Empowerment Stories ...

Livin' la Vida Solo
~ Andrea Steen

There’s something to be said about being a grown-up. All my friends have been talking lately about how we’re all getting older and can’t stop time and how we wish we could go back and blah blah… I get it. I’m turning 26 this year: I feel old. Not to spit in the face of my elders; the last thing I want to do is complain about my bad knee and crow’s feet when I’m still a bunch of years away from having children and I still get asked for ID from time to time.

But I really feel like an adult these days. Which is weird, because sometimes I walk around and think like I’m 16, or even 8, colouring outside the lines. Nope. I’m past that. I am responsible. I live by myself, I pay taxes. I vote. I exercise (but only because I have to).

So basically, I’m boring.

It’s kind of nice, though. No, not being boring.

I’m on a solo semi-vacation here in Seattle and tonight I decided to take myself out on a date.

The last time I was actually on vacation alone was 5 years ago in Spain, and for almost 2 months. I often look back on 20 year-old Andrea and give myself major props. Whether it was sheer stupidity of youth or just plain dumb luck I didn’t have a hard time at all. Traveling alone is really no big deal if you like your traveling companion.

You really have to like yourself in a country like Spain, though. Most of the towns I visited were non-English speaking. I spent some lonely days, to be sure.

Seattle is comparatively a cake walk.

Tonight, though, it was so... well, nice to be out on a date by myself and to not be self- conscious about it. I can remember eating oranges in the park in Toledo in the scorching heat being stared at by borrachos and old ladies, wanting to run away screaming because I was so uncomfortable. I was a) the whitest person they had probably EVER seen and b) so scared to eat anything exotic that I basically stuck to oranges, bread, and nutella which kept me out of restaurants and consequently kept me hungry.

Anyway. Back to Seattle.

I went to a recommended (wait for it...) Spanish restaurant and waited for a table. It took awhile; so long so that I actually reconsidered my venture. But then a waiter came along and was like, hey, are you here for dinner? Just yourself? Do you want to sit in the dining room or at the bar? Or do you want a booth?

Booth. Yes please. Booths allow anonymity.

After my above average meal (which included a comped drink, nice touch), I walked three blocks to a movie theatre and caught Up in the Air with George Clooney. It’s good. Totally decent movie. And I’m glad I went. Going to a movie alone was something I’ve never had the guts to do before, so I’m glad I got it out of the way. My fiancé pointed out to me yesterday that if you roll in right before the movie starts it’s not that different than going with someone, because it’s not as if you talk during the movie anyway.

Growing up allowed me to lose the insecurity that can often accompany doing things alone. When we’re alone we often let our imaginations get ahead of themselves; when we’re with other people we don’t really think about the act of people observing us. When we’re by ourselves this can often overwhelm our thinking. The comedian Dane Cook has a bit where he talks about people crying in the car: how we all assume people will see us and laugh and then follow us around. And it’s true! How often have I cried in the car and thought, holy smokes, I look like a mess; I better stop.

Nobody cares!

How selfish of us to think that everyone in the world is so focused on us! When I was sitting in the movie theatre I realized that no one there cared that I was there alone. The same way I wouldn’t care if I saw a lone girl at the movies.

All the Spaniards I thought were judging me for being a pale loner were probably all, "¿what the heck is that albino girl doing staring at us? Que loca."

I urge you to get out there and do things alone. You don’t have to move to a different city; trust me, it’s expensive and a hassle. You don’t have to trek around rural Spain for two months. But if you feel like eating sushi and can’t find anyone to go with, rather than getting take out, try dining in.

Or if you really want to see a movie that no one else is interested in (cough, Hotel for Dogs, cough) it’s time to take action. And trust me, no one is going to judge you for seeing Hotel for Dogs alone. They’re just going to judge you for seeing Hotel for Dogs.

So I’m going to raise my glass tonight for getting older. For giving me the maturity to lose some insecurities. For the Spaniards who stared, and for George Clooney who’s just so damn cute.

And you, for not judging me for wanting to see Hotel for Dogs.

It looks cute! I just like dogs, okay?

~ Andrea Steen

Andrea Steen is an actress, writer, makeup artist and Jane-of-all-trades, currently discovering what it means to be a grown-up. Follow her journey at http://slanderandlove.wordpress.com