“THE KEY TO THE ABILITY TO CHANGE IS A CHANGELESS SENSE OF WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT AND WHAT YOU VALUE!” -- Stephen R. Covey

In 2000, at the age of 47, I decided to record my goals for what I wanted to accomplish in the new millennium. I set goals when I was 16 and I still have my handwritten note. Somehow, accomplishing those youthful goals (except for going to Paris!), seemed easier in my 20s and 30s. Then, in my 40s, I had a lot of stresses, bereavements, and traumas and I went into a holding pattern at best and a depressive state at its very worst.

After an especially traumatic break-up with a friend, I wallowed in a couple of years of anger. I tried to forgive but didn’t know how to do it and really didn’t understand what true forgiveness was. Then I was struck by the forgiveness Rev & Mrs Dale Lang gave to the youth who killed their son in the Taber school shooting. I couldn’t understand how they could extend such compassion and forgiveness after such a terrible loss. I began to do a lot of reading and learning and came to understand what forgiveness is. And I was able to learn to forgive my friend and myself.

That started me on a journey of self-discovery and growth which continues today. I was inspired to again look at setting goals for this next part of my life. I started off in a typical business-like manner to set some goals. I used to coach goal setting when I worked at AGT/Telus so I know the traditional/accepted approaches to achieving your goals; I still help my friend out by talking about goals at her meetings, although far different from the corporate view of goal setting that I used to present, let me tell you!

I went through quite a few drafts until I found a way of setting goals which came from my true feelings. My goals include: I desire peace, I desire serenity, I desire accomplishment, I desire health, I desire to be charitable, etc. Then I identified criteria in each of these areas which I could accomplish to achieve my desires.

After a lot of work I recognized what I had identified were many of the things I used to enjoy and had stopped due to the pressures and stresses which I let take over my life. These included: riding my horses!!, being with my family and friends, taking care of my health, travelling, helping others, skating again, etc.

Then I kind of put my goals on the shelf, contrary to what all the experts say about accomplishing goals. I didn’t make an action plan. I didn’t take any daily actions to accomplish my goals. I didn’t direct my energies to my goals. I DID MAKE UP A LIFE BOARD WITH PICTURES OF ALL THE THINGS IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE AND GUESS WHAT, WHEN I TOOK A GOOD LOOK, THEY REPRESENTED MY GOALS. I HUNG THIS IN MY BATHROOM AND I LOOK AT IT EVERY DAY.

At the end of the year 2000, I thought I should update my goals so I pulled them up on the computer to review them and LO AND BEHOLD …

Subconsciously and subliminally, I WAS ACCOMPLISHING MY GOALS! Not in big measures and not all of them yet, but enough to realize I was on my way again.

And every year since then I have held true to those goals and every day I am accomplishing all of them in many little ways!! I do have an action plan now, but it’s a spiritual one, not a results-driven one.

NOW, IT HASN’T ALWAYS BEEN EASY!!! I have loved horses since I was a baby; a couple of my goals at age 16 were to own an Arabian horse and raise a foal!! While it took till the age of 38, I fulfilled those dreams! I now have the joy of owning 4 horses – 2 wonderful retired senior citizens – Tor and Govie; a beautiful grey Arabian mare, Caba, and her son, a saucy chestnut warmblood cross gelding, Rampart who is 10 years.

But for the last 3 years I had put aside my dressage riding due to health and time stresses which was a great distress to me. One of the reasons I wasn’t riding Rampart is I became scared to ride him as he is VERY spooky and I was afraid of being hurt. I was injured by a horse (not my own!) in 2001, resulting in surgery and pins, and this fuelled my fears. So I had these enormous fears, plus I also used time and stress as reasons not to ride. But the desire was ALWAYS there!

It has been a struggle but more important, also a learning process, to regain the confidence and find the courage to ride Rampart again but I have slowly worked on accomplishing this over the past couple of years. I got on him once in Jan 2004 and while nothing went wrong, it must not have been the right time yet, because I didn’t try again.

When I reviewed my goals in Jan 2005, I decided this was the year I WOULD ride Rampart again. I started off by riding my grey mare once more and enjoyed it so much, I knew I had to follow through and ride Rampart, as well.

In February I met a new friend who does Silva and Reiki work. She began doing distant work to help me re-establish and grow my rapport with Rampart. And it’s gotten better and better every day! Rampart has become less spooky and more relaxed: to come in the barn, be in the stall, be groomed and tacked up and VERY focused on me! THANK YOU, JANET MacALLEN!

And I have another friend who was going thru a similar situation with her horse – she was apprehensive to take her mare to a show and ride in a dressage competition. We both said that in 2005 we would conquer our fears. With the help of a supportive new teacher, she gained the confidence to enter 2 classes in a dressage show on April 2. She and her mare went out and made it thru their very 1st class. And guess what!!!! In the 2nd class, out of 30 competitors they won the class!! So after such a shining example I was highly motivated to ride my horse. THANK YOU, MELANIE DOWNES AND PIPPA!

On Tuesday, April 5, I felt such a connection with Rampart, it was like we spoke a common language. I regretted afterwards I had not been prepared to ride him. So I promised myself that if Thursday felt ½ as good, I would get on!

Once again on Thursday he was a gem! So I tacked him up, took him in the round pen, worked him on the lunge line. AFTER A FEW MINUTES OF NERVOUS SHUFFLING ON BOTH OUR PARTS, I GOT ON!!!!

He was just great! Nervous but didn’t spook. I only walked him around for a couple of minutes as I wanted to be sure we had no problems and ended on a high note.

Since then I have taken several little lessons on him with an understanding and supportive teacher, and while Rampart and I have both been jumpy and spooky, each lesson has been a positive and joyful experience. THANK YOU, LINDA FITZPATRICK!

SO WE HAVE TAKEN THAT FIRST HARD, BIG STEP BACK TO RIDING AND NOW WE'RE ON OUR WAY!!!!

Whew. A lot of words. But what I really want to say is to set your goals your way! Live the life you want to live! And never, ever give up on your dreams!

~ Brenda Lofstrom

DREAM A GREAT DREAM!!

We grow great by dreams!!
All great people are dreamers.
They see things in the soft light of a spring day
or in the red fire of a long winter’s evening.
Some let these dreams die.
But others nourish and protect their dreams,
Nurse them through the bad days
Until they bring them into the sunshine and light
That always comes to those who sincerely believe that
Their dreams will come true!!
-- Author Unknown
 

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