Women's Empowerment Stories ...

The Dance of Courage
~ Schall Adams

Rebuilding from the ground up, from the inside out

Living outside your comfort zone or "level of comfort" is something many people will avoid at all costs. But this is where the most precious moments of life are found. Why? Because it stretches us and creates new experiences that we would not have otherwise. Some of the experiences are internal and some are external. They are all precious, so I want to share how I am stretching my comfort zone so that you can too and what you will gain from doing so.

An experience that brought me the most profound understanding of "getting outside my comfort zone" was when I was first building Girlfriend Mentors. I had to get mentors lined up to create the site before I could have people coming to the site. One of the mentors I was trying to recruit was short with me and criticized the website before it was finished. I began feeling like I didn't know what I was doing, I was way out of my league, etc. etc. But then it hit me. I was OUTSIDE of my comfort zone and it is OKAY to feel this way! This is the feeling that keeps people from moving forward. Let me say that again. This is the feeling that keeps people from moving forward.

So let's dissect the situation I just described.

A. I was contacting very successful women, women who were much more successful than me. So, I was going into the phone calls a little nervous.
B. By the time I contacted the mentor I described above I had received some very positive feedback on the website. But I had made some changes and not tested it in a variety of web browsers when I talked to this particular mentor.
C. She was about to launch her biggest program to date and was in a crunch. When I called her, I was so nervous about it that I just launched into my dialogue without asking for her time. She booked an interview with me, but as I described above, I hung up feeling very inadequate.
D. I had my AHA! moment of what it really MEANS to get outside of your comfort zone. I analyzed the situation and took the following actions:
    ● I sent her an email confirming our interview date and prefaced it with an apology that I hadn't asked her for her time first.
    ● We created a nice rapport and had a very good interview that my members can use to leverage their knowledge and expertise into new revenue streams.

During that conversation, I was experiencing an uncomfortable feeling that would make many people stop and give up. But I realized that if I could push through this feeling, it would stretch my comfort level, and I would be stronger the next time I attempted this type of activity.

My boundaries are stretching and my belief in what I am capable of doing or creating is stretching. There are no limits, just increments of understanding what we are capable of. Courage is not the lack of fear but the nerve to go forward in the face of fear. The dance of courage is for those of us who will do what makes us uncomfortable in the pursuit of our dreams and in the process we learn a new step, one that takes us farther down the dance floor.

If you will expand your comfort zone, you will be able to do many more things than you currently do now. That's why it is so important. Be present and aware whenever you feel uncomfortable in a situation. It is one of the "defining moments" that Tony Robbins talks about. And, in that moment you could stay fearful and act the same way you always do, or you could look openly at the situation. Notice how you are feeling. Ask yourself what you could do to make the situation better. Ask yourself what would happen if you worked straight through the fear?

We all have reactionary feelings. It is when you become aware enough to CHOOSE how you feel and how you act, that you are capable of stretching your comfort level.

~ Schall Adams

Schall has created Girlfriend Mentors, a place for women to exchange ideas, concepts, and processes that will cause us to develop personally and professionally.